Back yourself and begin again - lessons from a Jacaranda painting

My recent Jacaranda commission took me on quite the journey that had me reflecting on how I feel about mistakes, repair, big change, and risks, and how much I back myself and believe in my own creativity and resourcefulness. Here's a little 3-part video series that tells the story. (Click on the video images to watch the videos on my Facebook page, and while you're there, click "like" to follow my on Facebook, if you aren't already!)

The mindset mistake

I was sure that I was nearly finished the painting. I stepped back to review what tweaks might still need to be made, only to realise that I'd made a big error that small tweaks would not fix!   

In the next video I explain why mindset and how I’m feeling when I’m creating matters, as well as the importance of not clinging to joy!

Two parts of a painting that look like they were painted by a different artist. Because, in a way, they were. In the next video I talk a bit about why I’m not satisfied with the painting as it is, and my vision for this painting.

The risky repair

I love both sides of the painting for different reasons, but they don’t work together. And despite liking - even loving - some things about the trees on the right hand side, they don’t have the light, loose, more abstracted qualities that I was aiming for and which I’ve achieved on the left hand side of the artwork.

So sadly, they have to go.

Sacrificing parts of a painting that I like, so that the whole painting could have a greater possibility of working out better is a skill and character strength I find so difficult! It’s hard to let go and to take the risk to start all over, in the hope that I’ll be able to create something even better. Something that’s closer to my vision. Especially when the part that I’m going to destroy has qualities that I love, and there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to create something better.

Dammit. Why does art-making have to be so full of life lessons and self-portraiture?!

The gifts gained

Here's how I finished the painting. I feel I've done better with my goals of capturing the sunlight through the trees and creating a painting with a consistent style that feels like a unified whole.

Even more importantly though, it felt good to practice this kind of boldness to attempt such a risky repair. In doing so, I exercised my commitment to valuing experimentation, risk-taking, play, and growth over fear and mediocrity. It was a choice to be less precious and clingy, to let go more readily, and to not take it all so damn seriously. And it was an expression of trust in the abundance of my creativity. And - regardless of the outcome for this painting - these are all ways of being that I know will take me closer to what I want to be experiencing and creating next in my art-making practice and my life in general.